You know it's summer in Boston when... 12:51 AM

...the Boston-Irish begin to look like lobsters. (Also, two players on the Celtics now have the last name O'Neil. Still, they don't have any white players.)

You might also like... 2:19 AM

Fiddler Crabs Attack 10:30 PM

I'd like to buy some Uranium, and a totally bitching crystal skull. 10:18 PM

"No wonder why women are so psychotic." 5:18 PM

MCAT Balls 8:13 PM

For The Jews 10:40 AM

I Guess This Is What It Means To Grow Apart 5:08 PM

Mike was my childhood friend.  He moved to the town next door (because he was bullied too much) and we sort of lost touch.  We met briefly before he went to Iraq on his first tour.  He used the word "Sand Nigger" and "Hajji."  I suppose I should have seen it coming.

Nothing Gross In Particular 5:21 PM

But, this brief road trip is going to be a mess... [And Long Island looks like a wolf penis, of course).


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Cheery End To An Arduous Form 10:27 PM

The Manifesto 10:00 PM

So, I've wanted to write about this for a long time, and I will not make this my official entry on the matter--I hope to have it published in a minor suburban newspaper at some point in the near future.  But it's about the etiquette of the toilet seat.  Some may see this as mysogenist, but if you use true reasoning, you will see that it actually benefits EVERYONE, and is not against any gender in particular.  In fact, it will level the playing field between men and women, which is what the women's rights movement is about...right?  Right?  RIGHT?

In Peter Post's  Essential Manners for Men, she states that it is a common courtesy for men to leave the seat down for the next visitor.  There is no such rule for women, which means women do not need to fill any form of etiquette on this sort of subject matter.  Yet, women seem to be the ones that enforce said rule.   You may refer to a past post of mine that is quite gross, but women should have such rules.  Women may complain about the seat being left up.  As my mom has frequently chastised me for in my youth, the seat being left up allows women to fall into the toilet.  Yes, this is an embarassing event to have happen to you, but I must take the position of Margaret Thatcher on this one, and suggest the idea that we all have our own sense of personal responsibility.  If you do not want to fall in the bowl, fucking put the seat down.

It's pretty simple.  But here's the problem.  If you leave the seat down, odds are that the seat will get pissed on.  Let's face it.  No matter how good a man's aim, no matter his level of sobriety, length, girth, or IQ he will on occasion piss on the seat.  It's not lack of focus, it's just an anatomical fact. See 3:36 of this clip. Men pee on the seat.  It's not out of spite.  The nice ones are the ones who wipe it up.  But, even if we live in a world filled with nice people, the fact is that EVERYONE pees on the seat.  Nice guys could lift the seat, but we know that the not-so-nice guys are peeing on it.  Why would you subject us to such torture.

So, here is my modest proposal. The seat be left up. It's not hard.  If the seat is left up, the nice guys piss on the bowl and wipe it up.  The not-so-nice guys piss on the bowl and don't wipe it up, but women (or poo-filled men) simply put the seat down over said piss.  This eliminates the need for men to be yelled at for 1. leaving the seat up,  2. yelled at for pissing on the seat, and 3. the culture that allows women to fall into to the toilet.

This is easy.  This is the way it should be.  This makes sense.  Any other way aside from a robot toilet is simply cruel and unusual punishment for men.  I vote equality.  If you are with me, spread the good word!

 ------------------------------

And may I add.  We will not sit to pee.  No way, no how. Seahorse Seahell.

Also a good idea, but circumvents the logic, and does not solve the deeper problems.

Butt-erfly 12:42 AM

That Man's A Weiner Smoker 1:26 AM

My old roommate Jocelyn is friends with the people who make this show.  Let me just say, I owned the DVD's before I met her!

It Had To Be Done 12:26 AM

Under-Where? 12:18 AM

Wearing boxers is an odd show of modesty.  As America moved from the 80's to the 90's to the 00's, there was a cultural movement to prefer boxers over briefs.  This change must have coincided with the simultanious decrease in modesty that allowed men to be seen more often without pants.  The less pants are worn, the greater the urgency there must be to cover one's private parts.  This results in the increasing amount of boxers worn.

This may even be a direct result of the VHS to digital movement, as there is a greater fear that people's lives can be recorded, there is a simultaneous urge to look good with your clothes off, but not be so immodest that you can see your package.  It's a scary thing to be caught with your pants down, but it can change your life for the worse if you are wearing tighty-whiteys.

In Mah Butt 3:24 AM

Courtesy of Yahoo! Answers:

The Drip 12:29 AM

Ladies...this is something you know nothing about.  Gentlemen...this is something you know dearly, but never speak about.  I have many issues with the status quo regarding current bathroom etiquette. This is not my biggest issue, but one what has come to the fore due to recent events in the world (i.e., my bathroom): the drip.

I am talking about that brownish reddish drip down the front of the toilet, but usually found on the underside of the toilet seat.  It's gross.  It's not poo.  And it's from you.  I always hear stories about how it is the man's responsibility to clean the toilet, he's the one that's always peeing on it.  Well, guess what...your corpus luteum is everywhere, and I don't want anything to do with it.

Apparently, women have a drip issue.  Tampons and puberty as a team seem to be the main culprit.  The drip occurs in between the tug and swing stages of tampon removal, or so I've gathered.  The grossness (aka uterin lining and blood) flicks everywhere.  Because girls do this all sitting down (I'm guessing), they do not see the trail that they have left for others to discover.  What's worse is that other girls do not even see this.

I'm not touching it.  I'm using what god gave me; a built in firehose.  So, next time you complain about me peeing on the seat, understand it as a service to the public.  I'd much rather have my pee on the seat that yo junk.

CHANG! 4:47 AM

The G-Spot 2:30 AM

Hot Dog Anatomy 10:38 PM

Hot Dog Anatomy
Originally uploaded by lunchbreath

That man's a wiener smoker!

Why I Prefer To Live With Women... 7:41 PM

Oh please won't you zoom in to see exactly what I'd love to avoid?  My heart goes out to all of those who have lived in a house such as this!